My dumbass

[Frog Legs 246]

Man… I ain’t even gon’ lie, I’m still heated over that dusty-ass, weak-ass, embarrassing-ass wooden MK-1 I bought. I spent REAL money on that shit, nga. Thought I was coppin’ a lil vintage heat — nah, that bitch shoot like it’s powered by sadness and splinters. One shot every 8 business days, got recoil like it’s mad at me personally. I pull the trigger and my character look at me like, “Fr? This what we doin’?”

AND THE KICKBACK?! Nga, I damn near fell off a roof shootin’ it once. Man said “single fire” — they ain’t say it came wit trauma. I air that hoe one time and gotta sit down after like I just ran a lap. I’d do more damage throwin’ the whole gun at somebody.

Meanwhile PETER LONG out here laughin’ at me, talkin’ bout “damn, couldn’t even cop a Glock?” Bitch if you don’t shut yo 6'7 built-like-a-loading-screen ass up — he out here carryin’ RPGs like lunchboxes, while I’m tryna get a kill with a damn Flintstones rifle. Bro walk into a shootout lookin’ like a boss, I walk in soundin’ like I’m usin’ Nerf darts. Shii tragic.

And don’t even get me started on RABID. Yo, that nga BEEN movin’ different lately — literally. Nga gained like 45 lbs since last update and now he be movin’ like his ankles on strike. Talkin’ bout “yo cover me” while he breathin’ hard from climbin’ one stair. All that hotdog eatin’ finally caught up to his dumbass. He be in the safe zone camped by the snack stand, dual-wieldin’ glizzies instead of guns.

I had to revive him twice last night — once from gettin’ lit up, and once from chokin’ on a chili cheese dog mid-RP. Told him, “bro if you die from nitrates one more time I’m leavin’ yo ass.”

Meanwhile I’m out here broke, hungry, got PTSD from the ATM, carryin’ a WWI museum piece as a weapon, stuck in a squad wit a tank-sized hotdog addict and Peter mf Long, who think he better than everybody ‘cause he ain’t touched poverty since the beta.

Devs, I’m BEGGIN’ you — give me a refund or a patch. Hell, delete the MK-1 from the game and my memory. I don’t even want the receipt, I just want PEACE.

This game got me RPin’ a man on the edge. One more misfire and I’m uninstallin’.

[Ddosed 12]

can i get a tldr cba reading that

[Classy 248]

29 minutes ago, Ddosed said:

can i get a tldr cba reading that

TLDR: 

TL;DR: Bro is fed up after wasting real money on the MK-1, a busted, wooden excuse for a weapon that fires like it's running off depression and regret. One shot every full moon, recoil like it’s tryin’ to fight him. Meanwhile, his squadmates are either fully strapped legends or snack stand mascots. Rabid’s out of breath just existing, Peter Long flexin’ like a cutscene, and he's stuck with PTSD, poverty, and a gun that should be in a museum. Devs — do something before he throws the MK-1 at someone for real.

[Frog Legs 246]

1 hour ago, Classy said:

TLDR: 

TL;DR: Bro is fed up after wasting real money on the MK-1, a busted, wooden excuse for a weapon that fires like it's running off depression and regret. One shot every full moon, recoil like it’s tryin’ to fight him. Meanwhile, his squadmates are either fully strapped legends or snack stand mascots. Rabid’s out of breath just existing, Peter Long flexin’ like a cutscene, and he's stuck with PTSD, poverty, and a gun that should be in a museum. Devs — do something before he throws the MK-1 at someone for real.

What he sai

[Type03 75]

Good luck I’m not reading all that