Conan

Even though I have never experienced this thing you call a "ban", my guess is whatever you did was terrible and toxic and you should sit in timeout for the time required. Also please tell your mother I said hello, and that me and the boys miss our "Sweet Deborah" down at the VFW.

At least let us get into their house storage/trunks for some shenanigans. ---------------------- Master Cocksman Owner of 4 Soul Glo Outlets

Ricky Spanish tried to convince us that the commercial cost millions, despite the third world location and lack of "A list" actors involved. He said it was 50 cent on location in his new African mud hut...

Due to a tragic financial decision involving the speculation of the Platinum Ingot market and a poorly managed marketing budget, Crimeshare.com is nearing bankruptcy. 2016 started as a banner year for our fledgling company with over $3mil (Altis) in sales. Sadly, much of this revenue was squandered by Chief Marketing Office, Ricky Spanish, on beach houses, poorly made commercials and lock picks. Crimeshare.com is seeking Angel Investors to prop up our bottom line and keep us out of Alits Bankruptcy Court. Investors of $500k and more will receive unlimited Crimeshare.com services and never again face the unruly requirement of having to spend time in jail for their crimes. Please contact Conan, Whiskey Savage, and Trenton the God to transfer funds and receive your Crimeshare.com membership ID. Any and all assistance is appreciated. Evidence of Ricky Spanish's frivolous spending can be seen here in our Superbowl ad that was not released until 2 months after the Superbowl: http://sendvid.com/lop42zc1

My doctor prescribed Altis Life to me to help me meet others in a safe online environment where I could learn about empathy, conflict resolution and murder.

Kavala Valet Service kindly requests you donate the Titan and missiles to us for our various peace keeping missions.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE CrimeShare.com, a division of Kavala Valet Service, is proud to announce their newest corporate subsidiary, BANSHARE.COM. Our principals realize that RDM and VDM happens to the best of us. While we all try to ensure we remain hardcore rp'ers at all times, we are sometimes faced with shit talking assholes in Kavala that need to be shot in the face without discussion. Other times, we are victims of "robo copping" and silent vigilantes that leave us in a fit of rage resulting in the accidental two-finger smashing of ALT F4. And of course, we have all experienced the situation of driving our hatchbacks and seeing a helicopter on the ground and thinking to to ourselves "I wonder what happens when i ram that chopper at full speed?". Sadly, these indiscretions often result in a server BAN. Not any more! As a BANSHARE.COM member you can call upon our dedicated staff to "sit this one out" on your behalf and transfer your ban to one of our staff members. Killed 12 people in Kavala Square without engaging? NO PROBLEM! Being harassed in side chat by salty children screaming "comporban!"? NO PROBLEM! Combat Logged so you would not lose your precious gear to a gang of TREE lovers? NO PROBLEM! Cursed with a one-word name like "Charles", "Mike" or "User" that forces you to Rook everyone on sight? NO PROBLEM! Members faced with a BAN can complete FORM 492 and our staff will handle transferring the remaining balance of your ban to one of our PLAYER IDS. Pricing is competitive for this service at $150,000.00 of in game money per day of the ban transferred. PM Conan, Ricky Spanish, Whiskey Savage or Trenton the God for service requests.

Video footage of vigilantes celebrating my last ban in Kavala square:

Hi Guys! Conan the Destroyer here, new to this community and still working on fully grasping server rules, but I'm getting better every day. I'm 72 years old and assume I am the oldest member in this fine community. Please avoid parking helicopters near me or being one of those vigilante people and we will get along splendidly. I will be gone for the next week recovering from cataract surgery but look forward to returning to forge new and exciting relationships with people in Kavala. If anyone needs help making "runs" I am a trustworthy companion on long hauls.

Dear Buffalo Bill: Your incarceration was due to two things. 1. Failing to fill out form 431 2. Failing to be a current paid member of CrimeShare.com. Our collections team will be visiting you in the near future. Those that do not pay the Crimeshare.com price, end up paying the ultimate price. Sincerely, Conan The Destroyer CEO & Anti RDMING Activist of Altis

CrimeShare.com is a legitimate company, not an organization run by trolls and rdmers as some of you suggest in side chat. We believe your time is important, and is better utilized not sitting in jail. You commit the crime, and our agents do your time. Many have joined our member ranks, especially after our Super Bowl commercial aired. Sincerely, Conan The Destroyer "I'm not only the President of CrimeShare.com, but I'm also a member"