I have been playing A LOT of civ in the last month. Probably as much as any one (for better and for worse). And I am telling you, I know based on how someone drives up to rock quarry, silver mine, diamond mine, processing, if they are there to process, or there to raid/rob/RDM. Someone who is there to mine/process will actually be careful.
Someone who is part of a pair, or gang, will want every second of advantage they can get, and will drive up at top speed (most of the time, sometimes they will approach quietly on foot, but usually that is in red zones, not at civ sites).
I am just saying, if u don't want to get shot at a civ mining/processing site, u should HAVE to drive up at normal speed, park 20m from the center, and say "I am friendly". If u r confident that there is no one there, or that you can outgun them, then of course you don't have to do any of that.
But it shouldn't be an RDM if the guy who is already there shoots you, before you have even started mining/processing. They aren't trying to steal anything from you. They are just trying to make sure you don't steal from THEM.