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In response to increasing cases and fatalities of COVID-19 on the Island of Altis, the Olympus government is calling all civilians to boost our efforts.
The following jobs will be made available to everyone within the next month:

1) Toilet Paper
Gather Point: Travel to your nearest beautiful forest and chop down a few trees.
Processor: The new processor will be replacing the current Diamond processor, since nobody is able to complete that job without getting robbed. Process the wood you've gathered from the local forest into toilet paper.
Selling: Arrive at the Noble gang shed to sell the toilet paper you've gathered (we thought this was fitting since Noble is a pile of shit).

2) Hand Sanitizer
Gather Point: Find the Dirty Bastards gang shed to harvest aloe that would otherwise be used by Zahzi and Majestic as lube for gay activities.
Processor: Travel to OG to process your aloe into hand sanitizer (we figured we would replace this cartel since cartel life is completely dead).
Selling: Finally arrive at the former Church/Arms cartel to sell your hand sanitizer.
 

Your efforts will be highly appreciated by the Altis government. All processed items will be selling for 20k each and only hold a weight of 1 in your dildo shaped backpack.

shitpost
 

Edited by Noahhh!
  • Like 2
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1 minute ago, Millennium said:

what

New civ council idea, just looking for some feedback.

1 minute ago, Noahhh! said:

New civ council idea, just looking for some feedback.

-1

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1 minute ago, Soap del Mar said:

If you will budge on letting Vigis have armed speedboats Id +1 this

na give them a mk1 taser 😄

8 hours ago, Noahhh! said:

Gather Point: Find the Dirty Bastards gang shed to harvest aloe that would otherwise be used by Zahzi and Majestic as lube for gay activities.

is that why they sit in carrot boys TS after every civ council meeting?

1 hour ago, Venoooom said:

is that why they sit in carrot boys TS after every civ council meeting?

It's possible.

 

2 hours ago, Soap del Mar said:

If you will budge on letting Vigis have armed speedboats Id +1 this

Why not give them MAR-10 tasers like APD has? It's only fair tbh.

2 hours ago, T5 Vigi said:

na give them a mk1 taser 😄

They should have free loadouts like APD imo.

1 minute ago, Noahhh! said:

It's possible.

 

Why not give them MAR-10 tasers like APD has? It's only fair tbh.

They should have free loadouts like APD imo.

Tier 5 Vigi Ghosthawks?

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