Put Vaseline all over yourself with just underwear on and go into your backyard (or front yard) and roll around the yard pretending you're a slug.
Oh and for 5 mins at least.
Dude honestly just record and report. No need to start forum drama over something that can be easily solved. Complaining on the forums does LITERALLY nothing.
Do legal runs till you are on your feet. Then you can start doing illegal.
I reccomend WPL (Workers Protection License, at gun store) for legal runs, you get a couple decent guns that you can defend yourself with and a bonus for legal activities.
Risky to go straight into illegal as your may get caught by cops or rebels.