Jump to content

Turtle Poachers Give Away

Recommended Posts

Tell the funniest joke in the comments section to win the full gang fund of Turtle Poachers. (Looking to be about 3 million + more to come soon) Jokes will be judged by the members of Turtle Poachers (about 4 or 5 of us) and then we'll give away the money at an arranged time and server. We also have up for grabs two properties on server one. One of which being a 2 crater on the turtle dealer in pyrgos and another on top of the Kavala vigi outpost, you can also win the gear we have stored in ther (CSAT fatigues/GA vests/and free weapons) we've grown bored of the server and have moved on to playing modded custom games of our own. Feel free to drop a joke and take your chance at winning a couple million.

The winner will be selected at 3:00 pm Central Standard time so pick your best joke and bring it forth

Edited by Edmunds.Z
Link to comment

A husband and a wife are seated at dinner when the wife drops some tomato sauce on her white dress. The wife says "oh I look like a pig" then the husband says "and you spilled some sauce too!"

How do you make a plumber cry? 

Kill his family 

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. Eventually we had to take away his bike!

Why was the guitar teacher arrested? 

For fingering a minor.

What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A man will actually look for a gold ball.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

you can unscrew a lightbulb

  • Like 1
Link to comment

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti.

You should've seen her face when i drove pasta


What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel


What do a woman and a bar have in common?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back.


Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now.


Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.

The doctor says I'm Okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.


I'll be here all night

Link to comment

So a father and his son is walking through a park. The son steps on a honeybee and the father says no honey for two weeks. They continue the walk and the son steps on a butterfly and the father says no butter for two weeks. Later that evening they see the son's mother step on a cockroach. the son looks at his father and says "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?".



damn you rex

  • Like 1
  • Downvote 2
Link to comment

A guy dies and is sent to hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in dirt up to their necks. The guy says, ‘No, let me see the next room.’ In the second room, people are standing in dirt up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally Satan opens the third room. People are standing with dirt up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating pastries. The guy says, ‘I pick this room.’ Satan says Ok and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, ‘OK, coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!’


Link to comment

Two Amish wives are out picking potatoes in the garden when Lavina holds up two potatoes in front of her friend Emily. Lavina exclaims, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's balls!" Emily remarked, "Why? Are they that big?!" Lavina smirked, "No, they're that filthy."

Link to comment
  • 1 year later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use and our Privacy Policy.