A story about today.

[Isaac Newton 1983]

I don't know why I felt the urge to make this post and share this story. Maybe I find discussion comforting in some odd way. I wanted to share with you all an experience I had today. It happened as the Superbowl was going on. Something I definitely did not expect and will probably stick with me for awhile. In my memories.

If you don't like these types of "wordy", personal story posts, click off now. All trolls and toxic comments will be moderated. 

I'll just describe how my day went and go from there...

Normal day, a good day in fact. I slept in, had coffee with the senior R&R and some staff members, and eagerly awaited the staff meeting that was to happen at 5pm. I was even more eager to see who would win the Superbowl of course.  I'm not a huge fan of football but I always like watching the Superbowl and seeing who wins. 

Later, the staff meeting goes very well. It was a short and sweet meeting where we all got along and pitched some decent ideas back and forth. Progress.

Upon the conclusion of the staff meeting, I decided to watch most of the first half of the Superbowl and then shortly after go get some food. Naturally, being a Superbowl day, I kind of wanted a pizza from down the street because Why not?! I love pizza. So, I hop in the car, good vibes and all and head to Little Caesars, who are locally known to be halfway decent around here.  

Now, I'm a pretty chill cucumber at this point. They told me I had to wait 8 minutes because they had no pizzas ready. This is totally okay with me. I'd prefer it this way. I happily threw my hood up and hung out in the corner of the Little Caesars and began looking at Superbowl updates on my phone, as well as the Olympus website. Me in my natural chill state.

Then it dawned on me, I'm gonna put my hood down. I'm not trying to hide anything and who knows, maybe I'll actually want to say hi to someone. Just then, a guy walks through the door, half black, skater-type build.. I recognize him immediately as one of my old best friends.  This was Josh, someone who I had known for years and suddenly lost touch with about 3 years ago when I started my new job. I looked up and as soon as he turned around from ordering, I said my Hello. It was a normal conversation, we were really stoked to run into each other and I could tell the chemistry was still there. This was a dude that stood up for me in the past and was like one of my best friends growing up. We used to do everything together with a couple of my other friends. Shit, we smoked weed together, skated, played in a band, traveled cross country, you name it.  If there was a memory of growing up Josh was probably involved somehow. Today is a good day.

Josh's face kind of indicated to me like he wanted to say something. Now, like I said I know this guy and he is a funny dude too so sometimes I gotta check to see if he is serious or not. He turned serious. We were having one of those "Life is crazy" chats when he shifted topics.

He said something along the lines of... "Yeah and especially what happened with Sarah... how she's dead".

I was confused at first. Still smiling from the initial encounter, when I asked "Wait what? Sarah (last name)?"

Josh then said very bluntly "Yes dude. Your ex-girlfriend? The one you dated? She is gone. Dead."

I sat there for a second as my face turned from smiles to somewhere between confused and curious.

 

Remember how I said Josh was one of my best friends and I connected to him almost the instant he turned around and we recognized each other? This is how Sarah was too. I had friends growing up, sure. But none of them were quite like Sarah. Similar to Josh, she was one of my more wild friends who would actually go out and do things with me, get me out of my comfort zone, and provide me with new experiences. I even dated her around my senior year in highschool which means we bonded on a whole other level. It lasted a few months and they were amazing months indeed but we ended it. When we all graduated highschool, we still hungout for awhile and did things together. We saw concerts together and hung out with mutual friends all the time. Since we knew each other so well, we could even hang out 1 on 1 and it wouldn't be weird. An ideal female friend. A truly beautiful person who was full of life and hope.  At some point after highschool her mother passed away and she went through some really tough times. I was always there no matter what. Only after recovering from that did we start to lose touch.

 

I calmly asked Josh, "How? That is insane. How the fuck did that happen?"

He told me he wasn't sure but he heard about it. She died January 23rd 2018, and like me, he only recently found out. Sarah was my age, 24, and was also a Leo (born in August) like me. We always joked about that. We also joked about marriage which I had never done with anyone. Typical Leo's.

He kept telling me things like "Yeah dude I still can't believe it, I'm still like... not really understanding it". Then he said "I think it was drugs dude, I'm not sure"...

Come to think of it, She did start to go down a dark path last time I saw her, I thought. I remember an instance where I found foil with some brown sticky crap inside it in one of her drawers.

Anyways... after talking we both had our food in hand, so I said goodbye. I definitely was not as hungry as I once was and I had completely forgotten and stopped caring about the Superbowl.

In order to help myself adjust to the news, I went home, ate a little, and started classwork. Of all things. I wanted to do classwork. For about an hour or two, I forgot about the encounter.

Then it started to sink in... the last time I heard news like this is when I found out my cousin died in a car crash at age 20. Head on collision.  The feeling of losing someone close to you so early... is very very hard.  Even now, it is surreal.  I can hear her voice in my head, her laugh.  I can see the memories I had with her crystal clear.  It's strange...  I wish I could go back in time and instead of losing touch, find her and hang out with her no matter what the setting.

 

I went online and did some digging and found out that Sarah died from an overdose, our suspicions confirmed.  The comment I found does not say which drug but I suspect heroin.  I'm just sitting here thinking, This is such bullshit. Totally avoidable. If I was only there to smack that shit out of her hands. If I could just crack one more joke at her. If I could do something.

 

Has anyone ever had an experience like this? This is still all sinking in, like it's really unbelievable to me. Of all people, Sarah is actually gone.

 It was a great day, until fate delivered the news that no one wants to hear. Young people, even in their 20's gotta be more careful.  If someone you care about is into hard drugs, talk to them. Even if you cannot stop them right away, be there for them. It might mean the difference between life and death one day. Hold onto the people you love for as long as you can. In some ways, that is what I did not do. I lost touch and feel like I have now paid the price for it. 

It's crazy how often we are reminded to "live life to the fullest because you never know what day will be your last" -- yet some of us still ignore this warning.

That's the end of the story. If you connect to it on some level then I am glad. If you want to comment go right ahead. I needed to write about it and share my experience. I already feel a little better just reflecting on what has passed. 

Thanks for your time and for the read. Stay safe out there Olympians.

 

[Xlax 2705]

Sorry for your loss. Don't blame this on yourself Isaac. 

[buckie 3302]

You will pull through buddy. you couldnt of done anything man sometimes people go through shit and it puts them down the wrong path. You didnt even know man dont blame yourself. Olympus community will be here for you  

[nicole 808]

rip

[JebronLames 175]

it was out of your hands, you couldn't have done anything about it

32 minutes ago, buckie said:

You will pull through buddy. you couldnt of done anything man sometimes people go through shit and it puts them down the wrong path. You didnt even know man dont blame yourself. Olympus community will be here for you  

who are you and what have you done to buckie

[Linka 2963]

Unfortunately people take different roads that definitely aren’t the best option. In the end even if we did do something, the end result is always on them. Im very sorry to hear about this man, but remember, it isn’t your fault. my condolences to you, your friend, and her family.

[Welch 61]

Sorry to hear about your loss, man. I might not know you or anyone you're talking about, but I know what it feels like to lose someone close to you and how you might feel after learning about it. Shit gets rough but if you just keep your head up and talk to those close to you, things can get a lot better. Take it easy, brother 

[Lethal 636]

i know how you feel man. lost my best friend a few years back, at first, it sort of feels like it cant be real. some sort of sick joke. but as the days go on, it will sink in more. be prepared for that. a few days ago, the friend that died, his phone number got reassigned to someone and they activated a whatsapp account, and it gave me a notification "sam R is now using whatsapp" and it just brings back all those feelings because i just buried the feelings. hope you handle it ok. sorry to inject my own story, wasnt trying to one up you, just trying to relate.

[-dante- 5182]

Always here for you, my man. 

Since I joined the military in 2011, I have lost 5 different guys I considered my closest friends either to combat or another. About a year ago I found out one of the first guys I connected with in the military died of an OD. 6 months later I found out one of the most likable guys I met in AIT had drunkenly drove into a tree and died. These are people I genuinely felt like could have been better if I stayed in touch. In the end though, its not your fault for their actions. People make mad decisions and all you can do is be you and hope you can influence the next person to make better decisions. 

[Dangus 629]

Went through a similar thing with a person I knew. Was really confusing and rough for the first little while. Definitely changed my outlook on life and friends. As sad as it is, you never know when you might say bye to someone for the last time. When I went through something like this, talking with people was the best thing I could do. If you ever need someone who knows what you're going through and you just want to talk, message me and I'd be happy to listen.

[Fyshie. 17]

Sorry for your loss.

Live life to the fullest. Don't take heroin.

[Tom 1412]

Lost a good friend beginning of senior year in 2016. Time helps but doesn't replace the person you loved and laughed with.

My condolences. 

[JAY1HP 155]

Yeah man it's definitely surreal, two of my good close friends killed themselves and another overdosed..One of the main reasons why I got my life cleaned up

[Genghis Khan 1131]

Bro, this made me sad af. Like I have never experienced loss. (not a pet or anything) My Grandparents died before I was borne, I am just really scared to loose my parents. I know it sounds selfish af, but I hope I die before my parents. Because I dont want to feel this feeling you described to me. I Play games to escape life I dont get to close to people, And I distance myself from my parents. The only nonfamily member I am really close to I no longer talk to him or hang out with him. He does Mushrooms, acid. I dont want to loose him Hes was my best friend but I dont want to be around that stuff. So I just come back to the false security of the gaming world. And it sucks.

[Damian_Wayne 25]

i almost lost my father from a brain aneurysm that nearly took his life a year or so ago. 
And i didn't even know it initially happened, holed up in the basement, gaming, couldn't hear the sirens,
or my own mother panicking to see if he was still breathing, climbed out to find an empty home.

Uncle shows up at the door 30min after midnight, telling me to sit down because the news is dire.
But after a small pressure draining he's right back up, no trouble, until the stroke hits and he's in Emergency Care
for almost 9 months, fitted metal coils in his brain kept him from dying, and in a medically induced daze,
dad's more worried about me, ME? wanting to know if i'm okay, always asking for me when i'm not 
at the hospital to see him. 



I know the tragedy of loss, that sharp twinge in your chest, you'd hope you've spent more time in their lives
Gotten to know them more and filled in any gaps you may have missed out on. Celebrate the moments you shared
and leave a memory that wont cause guilt, or pain, but joy, profound and happy that you got to be a part of their life.

Take the time you need to acknowledge what has transpired; there's no reason to shut out the feelings, we live with them.

You got this man! If you wanna chat, let me know; i'm all ears!

[Ludde 253]

I had a friend recently take his life at the age of 18 and nobody knows why, this happened only a week ago, he didn't leave any notes or video and any explanation and he never seemed to be down so it baffles me when something like this happens

[Colt 642]

8 months ago I started having family issues preventing me from playing. I was basically homeless for a good while. What I'm trying to say is we are all human and go through hard challenges in life and some people really need to understand that there is more to life than just gaming all day. But not a day goes by that I think I could've prevented what happened to my family. It is very hard to live with guilt on your mind all day. Some people try and live with it or in some cases hold it in so long they explode with anger and do something bad. Don't hold in your feelings people talk with someone about it no matter who or what it is getting it off of your mind and release stress.

[I Am Fuzzy 997]

2 hours ago, Tom said:

Lost a good friend beginning of senior year in 2016. Time helps but doesn't replace the person you loved and laughed with.

My condolences. 

Isn’t that how that one dude got perm’d? Adaptation right?

[Ozzy Jones 362]

I had a similar experience about a year and a half ago -- woke up, started browsing facebook on my phone, learned that my roommate's boyfriend (also a former roommate) had died of an OD. It was shocking, but not altogether surprising. Still, seeing the guy you talked to last week in a coffin is surreal. The shit is everywhere but it's been especially bad in Boston, and the priest at the funeral seemed worn down from seeing so many young OD deaths recently.

Being a bit older than the average Olympus player and having seen alot of shit in my life, if there's one piece of life advice I can offer that I have zero doubts about, it's to stay the fuck away from opioids. 

[Yayo 107]

Almost lost my life and my fathers with a dangerous man on the street (long story short we got into a fight and he pulled a gun) he left because the street started filling with people surrounding him and countless people calling the cops. All during the hurricane too so we wernt happy already.  Cops ended up finding him and we went to the pd. Sorry for your loss.

15 hours ago, Genghis Khan said:

Bro, this made me sad af. Like I have never experienced loss. (not a pet or anything) My Grandparents died before I was borne, I am just really scared to loose my parents. I know it sounds selfish af, but I hope I die before my parents. Because I dont want to feel this feeling you described to me. I Play games to escape life I dont get to close to people, And I distance myself from my parents. The only nonfamily member I am really close to I no longer talk to him or hang out with him. He does Mushrooms, acid. I dont want to loose him Hes was my best friend but I dont want to be around that stuff. So I just come back to the false security of the gaming world. And it sucks.

On a side note, I'll pay you if im in a memetage. Fuck it kick josh let me fill in for him

[D Ganja 99]

Not that anyone cares but I lost a good childhood friend in 2013. he was a good kid just mixed up with some bad dudes and od'd on Oxys. went to his grave once to say my final goodbyes. his mom found him dead in his room. just this last year I got into a motorcycle accident that almost killed my girlfriend and I and let me tell you, you really don't know how to live or what you want in life until you're laying on road thinking you're gonna die. all I have to say after everything is live your life the way you wanna live. if arma makes you happy, mash that. if you wanna do 250km/hr on a 700lb bike then give er. but whatever you do make sure you stay away from chemicals (drugs) weed is weed (dont panic its organic) but I've seen hard drugs ruin the most purest of hearts.